So many questions

As the days pass, we miss our Chloe more and more, and wonder why she couldn't physically be here with us.  On Friday the 11th we had to go to Ellis funeral home to sign the rest of the papers for her cremation, and that has to be on of the hardest thing that a parents has to do.  I've been walking around a lot easier thankfully, mainly just sitting down and getting up are still a little sore but not as bad.  Chris has been absolutely amazing with helping me, and just being the amazing person that he is.  I keep telling him hes going to bust my staples cause he keeps making jokes and its so hard to laugh, but its nice to laugh and smile when we just want to cry. 

I've had a people tell me that they have no idea the feelings that Chris and I are experiencing, and I must say I would never wish it on anyone.  Even though we knew she was sick and wouldn't be with us, no amount of preparation could have prepared us for the emotions that came with losing our little girl.  I just remember telling Chris that I felt like it was okay for her to go, but I really didn't mean it.  I know that her pawpaw, and great grandparents who are in heaven, and God and Jesus are taking care of her, but I want to know that she's okay.  As selfish as it is I just want her here with us, I wanted to be able to see her smile, watch her grow up, start a family of her own, just hear her say mommy and daddy, and just be able to hear her say I love you too.  As our genetics counselor told us the only thing she ever knew was love, and that's comforting.  I know that someday Chris and I will have more children, or as he says twins, and they will know all about their big sister and how beautiful she is, and that she will always be watching over them.  I just wish we could see our baby, and just knew why her, why did God choose her to come home so soon?  Chloe's days here changed everything, and she is so missed, and loved so so much.  I know it'll get better, and I know in my heart Chris and I will get through this, but its so hard.

Chloe's birth announcement