I picked up my baby niece yesterday from school, and on the way to my moms house (Nana) she asked me something that was so innocent and with this sweet concerned face, she said "Gomo why is the baby going to heaven?" To be honest I wasn't expecting a question like that, I went on to tell her that "Chloe had a boo-boo on her brain, and she's sick. But it'll be okay cause she'll be in heaven with PawPaw, and God, and Jesus, and she'll be watching over us." Of course only being 5 I'm not sure if she completely understands it all, but her asking that kind of made me realize just how much Chloe's situation is effecting everyone. I knew it would, but I guess before that question I never realized how much. One of my nephews started hugging me lately and saying "when is that baby going to get here?" and I just tell him it'll be a while, but it'll be alright. And today my oldest niece asked how Chloe was doing, and being 9 I was able to explain to her a little easier that Chloe's sick, I think she can understand it a little better due to the fact that she can remember when my dad, their PawPaw, passed away.
I knew all of this would effect everyone in our families, and our friends, but you never really know till something like that happens. (Chloe is Chris' family's first grandbaby, and will be my family's 8th grandbaby.) I also heard from a friend at work that shared the poem from my last poem with her friend who lost twins, and told me that it helped her out, and hearing that it helps me know that us having this blog is a good thing not only for us, but its helping others too. I know most may never experience anything like this personally, but if it helps them to just hug their kids a little tighter, or anything like that, I feel like Chloe's time with us would of helped so many others.
As I said in the last post music is a big thing for me to express the emotions that we are experiencing, and I'd like to share some very good songs with everyone, maybe y'all can check them out, and maybe they'll help you with something too! (I'll post a link to the song on youtube as well.)
1 "Gone to Soon"- Daughtry This song I feel explains how we feel right now, and some of the lyrics just seem to speak to me. One part says "Would you have been president?
Or a painter, a author or sing like your mother" and if you know me you know that I love to paint, and a little known fact about Chris is he loves to write, and can write about anything. Also "what would you look like? would you have my smile and her eyes?" which really makes me think of Chris' dream the other night when he saw Chloe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvpoYxwI08M
2 "If You Could See Me Now"- Jeff Bates Whats unique about this song is he wrote a song that my dad heard a little before he passed away and liked and we played it at his funeral, and Bates is my dad's mom (my grandma) maiden name. This song is very sweet too, and just talks about from a child who passed point of view and how they are okay, and happy in heaven.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyzsggy3uuE
3 "I Will Carry You"- Selah This song is very sweet and the singer wrote this song because when she was pregnant with her 4th daughter they knew was going to pass away shortly after her birth, and is def a look into how they feel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxZhEcTzn6Q
4 "My Name"- George Canyon This music video is sad, and really tells the story of the song, a couple are having their baby and she passes away, but they never knew what they were having, and even though we know we are having a little girl, it is def a sweet song, and video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbUWw1SKc8Q
Before I end this post, I also wanted to share this poem I found for Chris, and for really any dad out there who's lost a child, and really makes you remember they are losing something too:
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.
-Eileen Knight Hagemeister
Chloe's Angel bear by ABC Ministry's
No comments:
Post a Comment