Tuesday, April 16, 2013

White butterflies

Here lately when I am kind of down, and thinking about Chloe (to be honest I am always thinking of her), I see these little white butterflies. Whether its when I am walking, or driving somewhere, I always see one or two little butterflies fly by or across my path. It got me to thinking, what does a white butterfly mean, and everywhere I looked said basically the same thing, this is what one website had posted:

White Butterfly meaning: the soul of a child, transformation, purity, truth, growth, change, symbol of the soul, sign of angels watching over you, good luck, sign of a good life.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think about things like that, meanings behind things that I continue to see. (Like at my dads funeral we saw one yellow and black butterfly that flew right in front of all of the family, and that was the only butterfly we saw that day.). After reading that it makes me think that it is Chloe almost letting me know that she's here with us. What do y'all think?

I also came across a website, http://www.lilyjanestationery.com/about who is owned by a mom who lost her daughter, Lily, to HPE, you can read Lily's story and more on the website. In Meredith's blog she talks about her children, she has a boy that is older then Lily, and one that is younger, it gives me hope for our next pregnancy. Meredith and I are set to speak via Skype on Friday, and I'm hoping it will calm my nerves a little more. I know I shouldn't freak out because Chris and I have talked and we know that we don't want to try to get pregnant again for a few more months, but I guess the unknown of the future still is nerve racking. I'm pretty sure though next pregnancy I'm not going to be able to relax until after 16 wks, due to the fact that at 16 wks is when we discovered there was something going on with Chloe. I guess that we are "lucky" in that sense if you will, because most parents don't discover HPE or things of that nature until 20 wks of pregnancy.

On another note Chris and my birthdays are coming up, mine on April 18th, and Chris' on May 31st! For me it sure doesn't feel like its almost my birthday lol I guess that happened after you hit the "big" birthdays like 18 and 21. Well I hope everyone has a good rest of the week and I will def be typing more blogs soon!