A little update

I'm sure some of y'all have wondered where I've been since we've been to a couple Dr's visits since my last post.  Sorry for not posting sooner and keeping everyone up to date on things so far, I had finals for my classes, which I thankfully passed!

Okay so we went to the high risk Dr's on Dec 6th, which it was pretty much over everything we already knew from the MRI and her condition, we are starting to only see Dr. Martinez once again since there isn't much the other Dr's can do now that we know what exactly Chloe's condition is.  We also saw Dr. Martinez on Dec 6th and the 10th, and the amniotic fluid is extremely low, I believe they said it was in the 1/3 percentile for what it should be, and of course in the sonograms we can tell that there isn't much fluid there.  We also talked to Dr. Martinez about what will happen next which was very hard.  With the fluid being as low as it is, he bluntly let us know that he didn't believe she would be with us much longer, and he would be surprised if she made it to Christmas.  We and Dr. Martinez all agreed that we didn't want to do anything until Chloe's heart stopped beating, which feels right in my heart to do, as much as I don't want her to be in pain anymore I can't come to having her before she's ready to let go.  Unfortunately with my placenta previa and Chloe's holoprosencephaly when she passes away the delivery as he said will be a little tricky.  They wouldn't be able to induce me like they would anyone else because her head isn't as hard as any other baby, and the placenta previa, it could cause bleeding, and there would be a possibility that I could start to bleed out, causing a c-section to be done.  Honestly I'm not nervous about having a c-sec if it came to that, but as Dr. Martinez had said he wants to prevent it if possibly due to the fact that I would have one and not have a baby to take home afterwards.  We'll go back to see Martinez tomorrow the 18th to check Chloe's heart, and of course go from there.

I also have to say that I'm very saddened to read about the shooting in Connecticut, on my facebook I've seen the pictures going around of the poor children who passed away due to that senseless act, and it really breaks my heart.  I can't fully imagine what it feels like to loose a child like that, I guess no one ever really does.

Sometimes, when the sun goes down,
It seems it will never rise again,
but it will!
Sometimes, when you feel alone,
It seems your heart will break in two,
but it won't.
And sometimes, it seems,
It's hardly worthwhile carrying on,
But it is.
For sometimes, when the sun goes down,
It seems it will never rise again,
But it does.

- Frank Brown